“In my travels I found no answers, only wonders.”
— Marty Rubin
One sunlit Friday afternoon, at the start of 2013, I was sitting in a tiny chai shop in Udaipur, India.
I hadn’t planned on spending the entire day there, but the chai was strong, the samosas were cheap, and by 3pm, I had yet to move an inch from my seat at one of the shop’s three tables. Despite the Bollywood pop songs blaring from the TV behind me and the herds of donkeys trotting past out front, burlap sacks of bricks strung over their backs, I had gotten a fair bit of thinking done.
During my 36 hours in Udaipur – a city of labyrinthine streets and three beautiful lakes – I had fallen in love with the place. With the ringing of temple bells for the evening puja ceremonies and the echoing of the call to prayer across the rooftops. With the smells of incense and paan, and of freshly ground cardamom and ginger for chai. With the great golden disc of a sun sinking below the hills.
But most of all, I had fallen in love with the new sense of clarity I felt in the city. That evening, I was due to board a train to Mumbai, and from there, an overnight bus to Kerala, where I would resume working on the Rickshaw Run. But on this day in particular – January 4, 2013 – I had set aside a few hours to think about the year ahead. I wasn’t so much interested in making resolutions as I was in setting intentions.
Somewhere between my third and fourth cups of chai, I wrote in my journal, “I am determined to start this new year with peace, purpose, and vision” – mainly because at that point during my second stint in India, I felt anything but. I had spent much of 2012 figuring out what I didn’t love and what I didn’t want to be doing. In Udaipur, I gave myself a new challenge – a challenge to start doing the things I love.
Next, I copied down a passage from this beautiful article by Don George – what felt to me as a call to arms to the kind of writing I was determined to focus my efforts on during 2013:
“We need to dream big, think big, fling out filaments that tie our travels to a wider perspective. Our work only matters as much as we make it matter, and we need to write pieces that matter. We need to honor the act of writing and the act of connecting – connecting with the world when we travel, and connecting with our readers when we write…
We are only as big as the world we dare to make.”
Finally, I wrote out several goals for the year, which varied quite noticeably in their specificity:
1. Finish my memoir.
2. Continue freelancing (specifically aiming to get pieces in National Geographic Traveler, Islands, World Hum, AFAR, and the San Francisco Chronicle).
3. Find a literary agent.
4. Do more with my sketches.
By the time I left the chai shop and raced to the train station – leaning halfway out my rickshaw, urging the driver on as we zipped through the streets – I felt in charge of my life again.
That was the first lesson 2013 taught me:
We can’t be afraid to own our dreams and do what we love. We must figure out what matters to us – and then go after it.
The next six months were a tremendous lesson to me in the power of setting intentions, even vague ones. That afternoon in Udaipur, I didn’t know what I meant by, “Do more with my sketches.” Although I had a handful of ideas, all I knew was that people had seemed to connect with the few sketches I’d shared online, and that perhaps sketching might play a larger role in my storytelling.
Little did I know what course this year would take, all because of that hunch.
At the beginning of February, I moved to a lovely corner of Goa called Colomb Bay. My friends and fellow writers Hannah, Kim, and Jenny were based there at the time, and I decided to join the club and rent a house by the beach for six weeks. What unfolded next was an impromptu writing retreat and creative community – we worked on our own projects during the day and convened at night at a seaside bar called Boomshankar, where we’d order $3 strawberry daiquiris and talk about how frustrating productive our days had been.
I spent most of February and March in Goa re-working the premise of my memoir (for what felt like the 73rd time, but who’s counting?), and yet perhaps the most important thing that developed there was that I got the idea to do my first sketching trip – a six-week adventure around Southeast Asia and Japan, with the sole intention of sketching my way through seven countries. Although my decision to leave India early was a bittersweet one, it felt right. India had played a big role in helping me discover my love for sketching – and then it gave me the courage to pursue it elsewhere in the world.
April and May found me far from Goa’s balmy beaches – I kicked off the sketching trip in Singapore, took a train to Malaysia, walked 100 miles around an island in Japan, fell in love with the karst hills of Laos, and journeyed overland from Thailand to Cambodia to Vietnam, all while documenting the trip on the pages of my sketchbook. I had always said that sketching opened the door to serendipitous encounters, but it wasn’t until Southeast Asia that I truly saw this in action.
With my sister due to get married at the end of June, I returned home to Virginia and began putting together my first book of travel sketches: Beneath the Lantern’s Glow. And then, one fateful Monday afternoon, I got an email from the travel editor of the New York Times. He was working on a story about travel blogging, and wondered if I might be interested in speaking with him, specifically about my sketches. I’m fairly certain that if my heart had started racing any faster, we would have had a serious problem.
And so it was that I found myself on a last-minute trip to New York City. In a small interview room in the New York Times building on 8th Avenue, the editor and I chatted for over an hour about my sketching. Although I’d been terrified with nerves beforehand, all I could think about during our actual meeting was how natural it felt. For every question he asked, I was able to draw examples from my Southeast Asia sketching trip, and when I pulled out my laptop to show him the final proofs for Beneath the Lantern’s Glow, I felt the last link in this full-circle year of sketching click into place.
I was in Seattle when the story ran in July. In the travel section, just below a photo of Hā and me with our sketches in Saigon, it read, “The Sketch Artist.” I was rendered mute with wonder, marveling at the path that year had taken.
For that was the second lesson 2013 taught me:
Decisions are like dominoes. When we decide to follow what we love, each little thing feeds into the next. It all connects.
There was one last unexpected gift 2013 offered me: I entered the New York Travel Fest’s story contest this April, won first place, and found myself with a trip for two to Prague. Given my maternal family’s Czech heritage, I twisted my mom’s arm and convinced her to come with me. As we prepared for our September departure, I put together my second sketching trip: a twelve-week adventure through Eastern Europe and the Balkans, culminating with a 22-day, 350-km pilgrimage across Turkey called the Evliya Çelebi Way.
And it was on this trek that I learned my hardest lesson of the year. I’ve written much about the highs and lows I experienced while walking, but I’ve been saving this one for you, my friends. On Day 16, I’d missed a stabilized forest road the guidebook mentioned, and as it usually happened, another road had materialized. I kept walking, waiting for it to swing back northwest again, but it never did. It went from northeast to east until the metal hand of my compass pointed southeast – the exact opposite of the direction I should have been heading in.
Although the road was clear and easy to follow, I knew I wasn’t walking in the right direction. I knew that wherever it was leading, I would emerge from the forest miles from my intended destination.
So why should I keep walking down it? How would it help?
The issue was that the slopes to my left were impenetrable – steep, covered in gravel, there was no way I could make it up them, even if I did decide to reverse my way. “I feel like I’ve flung myself out into the universe,” I scribbled in my journal. But then I came to a point where I would have a foothold among the rocks; a minute stream, nothing but a trickle of water over gray boulders, led up the rockface. Little orbs of bright green moss grew in abundance, impossibly beautiful.
I clambered – for there can be no other word for it – up the cliff, and then walked blindly through dense woods of pine and oak. At all times, the only thing to follow was my compass – in whatever direction the needle pointed northwest, I walked. I no longer thought of reaching Simav, or even Eşkiköy – a village a few kilometers away.
I thought only of the next ridgetop; the next tree; the next ten steps.
And it was as I was aiming for a certain tree on the next hilltop that the faintest hint of an old unpaved road appeared among the yellow grass. I shifted my course and followed that instead, until it suddenly brought me to a junction with a reddish forest road. It was exactly what I hadn’t dared to hope for – an actual road opening up out of nowhere, pointing exactly in a northwesterly direction.
I followed the road, which did indeed get me to Eşkiköy eventually, and as I walked, I thought about what had just happened. It was not the first time I had felt such hesitation on the trail, caught in my indecision at a crossroads. Several times before I had stood at the junction of two roads and tried desperately to discern which one I was meant to take.
But the thing about Day 16 was that my latest crisis in the woods was not a crossroads. There were no two immediate options for me to decide between. I didn’t know what road I was leaving the other for. I didn’t know if another way even existed. All I knew was that I needed to find out; I needed to change my course. I had only my compass to listen to, to walk by, to seek direction from. I knew the path I was on wasn’t the right one, but still it was indescribably hard to walk away from.
That was the third lesson 2013 taught me:
The wrong path – no matter how clear or comfortable – will not get us where we need to be.
We must fight for the path we’re meant to be on.
And so I sit here now on a December morning in Virginia, with just two days to go until 2014, trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to connect the dots of this past year and see what sort of picture they might form. And as I pour myself a second cup of coffee – it’s no chai, but I can’t complain – I think that my epiphany on the trail in Turkey was really a tangible manifestation of the lesson I learned in Udaipur, way back at the very beginning of the year.
That afternoon in the chai shop, I had sensed I was going in the wrong direction and needed to change my course, even though there was no immediate alternate path waiting for me. Turkey then showed me what that literally, physically feels like.
Looking back over the goals I set in Udaipur, it’s funny to see how many of them I didn’t realize. I didn’t finish my memoir. I didn’t get stories in the five publications I’d listed. And I still don’t have a literary agent. But when I consider what did unfold this year, it’s hard to grow too discouraged. In fact, it’s hard to feel anything but thankful. When I think about the things I didn’t have planned – releasing my first book of sketches, being interviewed for the New York Times – I’m still filled with a huge amount of gratitude.
I’m grateful for 2013 being the year in which I reset my course and began going in a direction more in line with my dreams.
And I’m grateful to you for reading, and for being a part of the conversations that take place here. I love hearing from readers of this blog, from people who are also getting started as writers or renting a house in India or traveling on their own for the first time, because it reminds me that we’re all seeking the same thing – we’re all trying to find our path. We’re all trying to make decisions for our dreams. Thank you for sharing your stories with me this year.
May our lives always be full of adventure and purpose, and may they always be filled with doing what we love and experiencing things we can’t even begin to fathom right now.
Because that was the final lesson 2013 taught me:
Leave room for the unexpected.
LOVE this post, Candace! You truly have a gift (well several gifts) and it’s been so fun to see you find your way. And it was such a treat to see the photo of you, Hannah, and I on the beach in Goa. Hard to believe that was this year…
I know!! Last January feels incredibly far away, doesn’t it? But I will always be grateful our paths crossed in India this year – I can’t wait to see what 2014 holds for you, and especially hope that it includes a reunion at some point 🙂 xo
Your writing (and drawing) has brought much joy to many – myself included. 2013 has been an incredible year for me too … my first journey to India was inspired by the strong word pictures which you and Hannah painted. Good writing is an incredible motivator; decisions made, experiences taken on and enjoyed.
I am sure that 2014 will be good to you. Seems the decisions and pointers you took in the year past have served you well.
As for us, we are blessed to have discovered an inspiring person – you. Your sketches are defining. They and your blog header are so much a brand.
Best for 2014 and thanks / Gerald
Gerald, you’re going to make me cry! In all seriousness, though, I can’t thank you enough for your kind words here and for your tremendous support throughout this entire year. I am especially thrilled that your first trip to India was such a success – I was so grateful to have stumbled across Colomb Bay, and I love hearing that you experienced its magic as well. Thank you again for reading and sharing your wisdom – I’m wishing you all the best for 2014!
Thank you for this one, Candace.
I was in need of a kick after a dull period of inspiration over the last two months.
Feeling something different after reading this. 🙂
I’m so glad to hear that, Aswin! By the way, I just took a look at your site and am in love with your photography…all your images of rice paddies are making me wish I could be back in Kerala right now 🙂 Here’s to a new year full of inspiration!
Breathlessly beautiful writing, Candace! What an amazing and blessed year you’ve had and I can’t wait to see what 2014 holds in store for you. Happy New Year my friend!
Thank you so much, Lola! I do indeed feel incredibly blessed for everything that unfolded in 2013 – and I’m especially grateful the year included not one but *two* reunions with you!! Here’s hoping 2014 holds even more 🙂 Sending lots of love and hugs to you and Emilie in Stockholm!
As always, your words move me tremendously. What a year it has been for you! You are so right – leave room for the unexpected. There are always surprises hiding in each corner, as long as we are opened to possibilities.
The biggest lesson I learnt this year: the key to happiness is finding balance. I realized that too much of a good thing can be negative and that I need to do everything – including the things I love – in moderation. I am much happier now that I’ve had that revelation and 2014 will a year of working towards finding that balance.
Thank you for urging me to think about 2014 goals on a deeper level. May it be a year of revelation for you!
Thank you so much for your insightful comment, Nellie! I especially enjoyed hearing about your own lessons and takeaways from 2013 – I think striking a good balance in our work life is key, but oh so difficult to do. I imagine we’re very similar in that we both love what we do, so we err on the side of working all the time – but even if our job is our passion, it’s still important to step back from it now and then. I loved reading your own 2013 reflections and feel the same way – I’m definitely excited to slow down in 2014, invest in relationships, and explore more of the world offline 🙂 All the best to you and Alberto this New Year’s Eve!
This was such a wonderful thing to read on the last morning of the year with a strong cup of coffee in hand. Thank you. I especially love the second lesson about decisions being like dominoes – it can be exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. But if you stick with what you know feels right the universe works in mysterious ways to lead you where you’re meant to go.
And, I also love that quote from Don George. Been thinking lately about connections – in travel, with people, in life, in writing – and that summarizes so nicely what I haven’t been able to so eloquently say myself.
I’m really glad that our paths crossed this year in Ireland and hope they do again in this big/small world of ours. Here’s to following these three lessons into 2014 and seeing where you take them!
It’s so great to hear from you here, Audrey! I love what you said about the universe working things out for us once we make a decision…it reminds me so much of The Alchemist 🙂 And yes, isn’t that quote from Don amazing? I kept it close by throughout 2013 and will be aiming towards it again in this new year. I’m endlessly grateful to have met you in Dublin this year, and I can’t wait to see where our paths cross again next – all the best to you and Dan for 2014!
There are a lot of really average 2013 summaries/dreams for 2014 posts around at the moment but this is not one of them – brilliant!! It’s such a powerful message too. Love it, and thank you.
Wow! That means a lot, Amanda – thank you! I’m really glad this post resonated with you, and I hope you had a great time ringing in the new year with your family 🙂
Amazing!
I’ve had a mixture of a year but ultimately happy with the direction it’s taken and I can see how it all feeds in to 2014. Another lesson: patience & acceptance. This ties in with allowing the unexpected as things often run on their own time scale and involve various unforeseen twists!
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Adam 🙂 Patience was another huge lesson that 2013 taught me, and I love what you said about how we sometimes have to let go of our own sense of timing and trust that some things take longer to unfold. I’m glad to hear you’re in a good place as we start the new year, and I hope 2014 holds all sorts of unexpected adventures for you!
Lots of great lessons from 2013. I agree with you that decisions are like dominoes. The momentum too once they fall just carry you along as well. It was one of those things I learned perhaps last year and this, when i decided to do something different which has ended up carrying me into new opportunities because I followed what was best for me and not necessarily what was best for someone else (work, etc…). Great wrap-up, it seem everyone is writing one, i wrote one as well but it’s perhaps less coherent than yours. I’m glad I found your blog and was able to follow along for part of it. Looking forward to 2014 and seeing where the road takes us all…
I think you absolutely nailed it, Anwar – deciding what works for us, and not necessarily what did for someone else, is so essential in making our own path. I’m really glad you had the courage to do something a little different – I have no doubt it will work out for you. Now if only that Indian visa would come through, right? 🙂 All the best to you for 2014!
Inspiring and thought provoking as usual! Best wishes for more success and happiness in 2014.
Thank you, Rhonda! Have a wonderful start to 2014, I look forward to seeing where it takes you 🙂
Candace! An incredibly lovely reflection on a year well-lived. It’s such an amazing lesson that you learned– look at what has opened up for you because you’ve taken your talents to the next level. So proud of you and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Thank you so much, my friend! That means the world coming from you. I’m so grateful that we’re both in a position to keep realizing our dreams, and I can’t wait to see what is next for you as well! Sending lots of love your way today.
Lovely writing. I’m surprised to see your list of goals from last year because it’s so clear to me who you are and what you’re amazing at. But I believe it’s much harder to see ourselves, sometimes, from within the bubble. Beautiful revelations in this post.
I can’t thank you enough for your comment, Annemarie – it really means a lot. I especially loved what you said about the bubble – I think one of my greatest struggles is belief, and continuing to believe in myself and my work even when I don’t feel that sense of clarity…in a way, when I can’t step outside the bubble. But I’ve enjoyed taking stock of last year’s goals and thinking about where I hope this year might lead 🙂 I’m wishing you all the best for 2014!
Candace! What a thoughtful, eloquent, moving post! I’m honored to be included in it. Wishing you a new year full of soulful serendipities and heart-mapped adventures!
Don!! It’s such an honor to hear from you here. I’m unbelievably grateful for all the wonders that 2013 held, and especially that our paths were able to cross several times during it 🙂 The insights and wisdom you’ve shared with me and others through your writing are true cornerstones to live by, so I really thank you for that…and I can’t wait to see where this new year takes you!
Beautiful insight, Candace. To be perfectly honest, I can’t wait to get my hands on your memoir someday. I know it’s going to be one of those soul-books that stay with you as one gets older. The best to you.
Thank you so much, Elora! I absolutely can’t wait to share my memoir with you one day as well (hopefully one day soon 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful 2014, and best of luck to you as you finish your own book!
Candace, I discovered your blog while I was traveling through India, and I feel as though I’ve found a kindred spirit in you. I too have fallen in love with Udaipur, and so I was thrilled to find one of my favorite cities the setting for the beginning of this post! I read in an earlier post (one about your Rickshaw Run) that you attended a travel blogging conference in the UK in 2013. I’ve been blogging for about 8 months now, and I’m not hip to all the resources available for bloggers/travelers. Could you share some links with me?
Cheers to a great 2014!
Hello, Katherine! It’s wonderful to hear from you, especially given our shared love for Udaipur 🙂 It’s also great to hear about your blog! I’m actually working on a post right now about getting started in travel writing, including some of the conferences and workshops to attend, but just to give you a few links here: One popular conference is called TBEX (Travel Bloggers Exchange) – although they haven’t announced their locations and dates yet for this year, they usually have one conference in North America every summer and another in Europe each autumn: http://tbexcon.com/2014-north-america.
One that I really recommend, though, is the Book Passage Travel Writers and Photographers Conference, which is held in the Bay Area of California every August: http://www.bookpassage.com/travel-writers-photographers-conference. While it’s not specifically focused on blogging, they do offer a blogging track during the morning sessions. It covers everything from freelance article writing to travel memoirs, and the faculty and staff are amazing. It’s a little steep in price, but so worth it!
Definitely let me know if you make it to either of them this year, as I hope to be at both! It’d be great to connect in person and reminisce about beautiful Udaipur 🙂
There are such beautiful lessons in this post, thank you! As I struggle with coming up with my own resolutions for 2014 and lessons learned from 2013, this is good inspiration!
Thank you so much, Jade! I’m so glad the post resonated with you, and I hope it might inspire you as you set intentions for this new year ahead 🙂
Thank you for the inspiration and your beautiful writing. I am glad I have found your blog in 2014, as I see this as my year of starting my own adventures. I’m graduating from grad school in May and hope to kick start my own life of travel.
I’m also pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with your sketches. I’ve recently begun to try painting. As the unartistic one in my family, its a struggle but I just have to find my own personal style. Your sketches are inspiring and beautiful.
Thank you for your kind words, Kristen! It’s wonderful to hear that you’re hoping to start your own travel adventures soon, and I especially loved that you’ve recently picked up a paintbrush 🙂 Please believe me when I say practice makes a world of difference! When I look back at my sketches from three years ago, it’s amazing to see how poor my perspective was…but slowly, sketch after sketch, it started improving. I think what really helped me was that for the first year, I sketched only for myself – I never shared them anywhere online, etc. – so it was nice to keep sketching and practicing without the fear of what people would say 🙂 Best of luck as you finish up grad school, and I look forward to hearing from you again!
Such a beautifully written post. As always a wonderful way with words. Fingers crossed you’ll get to do in 2014 what you didn’t in 2013, and I dare say you will. You seem to know exactly what you want; where you’re going, but know that a little divergence, even unplanned, always peps things up. Can’t wait to see how you go in the coming year.
And look forward to seeing more of your sketches. Maybe this year is the year I’ll get my A into G and get some of my own published. Er, but I think I say that every year!
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Linda! I loved what you said about unplanned divergences pepping things up – if there was one lesson I learned from trekking across Turkey, that was absolutely it 🙂 You’re very right in that sometimes, the moments we treasure and remember the most are the ones we could never have expected. Thank you for that much-needed reminder. I’m also thrilled to hear you’re thinking of publishing some of your sketches this year – you know I would love to see them!!
I am greatly inspired by your words, and reading this post at this time is powerful as I question the road I’ve taken. But your sketches are what really move me. Thank you!!
Happy New Year!
Gayla, it’s wonderful as always to hear from you! I am right there with you on questioning the road you’ve taken – that is something I do all too often, and my trek through Turkey really gave me a tangible picture of what that looks like 🙂 I hope you’re feeling a true sense of belief in the road you’re on at the start of this new year!
Wow, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am coming up on my 2 year travel anniversary, often wondering if it’s possible for me to keep this up. You are an inspiration.
Thanks so much, Camille! Big congrats on your upcoming two-year travel anniversary – I know how much that must mean to you. What you said about ‘keeping it up’ was interesting to read as well – I think for me, travel really helped me discover my passion in life, and has in turn become a part of my professional goals…I’m not sure if I would still be traveling so much if that wasn’t the case 🙂 How about you, though? Do you have an idea of how much longer you’d like to keep traveling? I’d love to hear more about your story!
Beautiful words here, thank you for sharing all of this. I liked the way you were able to weave in examples without making this a list as so many other bloggers have been doing. Can’t wait to see what happens next!
Thank you, Kara! I’m really glad you enjoyed the post. While I do like a good list post every now and then, I also enjoy the challenge of trying to create a narrative instead – for me, anyways, they’re what I enjoy more as a reader 🙂 Happy 2014 to you!
Candace, thank you for your beautiful writing and sketches. I’m really glad my web meanderings led me to your site today – it’s been really affirmative and inspirational, especially your reflections on 2013. Looking forward to seeing more of your adventures!
Hi Nikki! I’m delighted you stumbled across my little online home as well – welcome 🙂 It was wonderful to hear that some of my stories and sketches here have resonated with you, and I hope you enjoy what you read in the future!
What an inspirational read. Congrats on your sketching successes; good luck on completing your other goals. I’ll be very curious to see where 2014 takes you. This was a great read!
Thanks so much, Corinne! Your kind words and wishes really mean a lot, and I too am quite excited to see what 2014 has up its sleeve 🙂 Do you have an idea yet of any trips you’ll be taking this year? I’d love to hear where you’re based and where you’d love to travel to next!
What. A. Post. or better say What. A. Year. I mean seriously, a tremendous read which is brimming with thoughts and vitality!! Really impressive set of skills not only your manifold creativity but also the ability to reflect on what’s around you and inside you…
I used to put it that way: while pursuing a life on the road and travelling the world the only home you have is your own soul. And you seem to feel pretty homelike in yours… 🙂
Happy New Year and may it be another year full of opportunities, inspiration and countless mundane marvels… 🙂 Take care and keep on keeping on!
Thank you, Oliver! I really love what you said about feeling at home in your soul…that’s a beautiful thought 🙂 Although there are good and bad days, I think you may be right in that I do feel I’ve finally found a sense of home in my work around the world. It’s a true blessing. I wish you all the best for 2014 as well, and that it’s a wonderful year for you!
What a lovely post – and congratulations on your achievements! I hope 2014 is even better (if that’s possible! 🙂 ).
Thank you so much, Rebecca! That means a lot 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful 2014 as well! Did I see on your blog that you’re currently living in Papua New Guinea? How is life there so far?
Candace, I love your travel blog and the pictures.
Thanks so much, Wesley! I appreciate you taking the time to say hello, and I hope you’ll stop by again in the future 🙂