“We cannot live only for ourselves.
A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

— Herman Melville

In Mostar, my mornings start with two breakfasts.

The woman I’m renting a room from, Majda, always asks if I would like a coffee before I leave for the day. Each morning I reply, “Thank you, but I’m okay,” which Majda, without fail, understands as, “Okay, thank you,” and then serves with some kind of toast or roll and her homemade plum jelly.

My second breakfast comes immediately afterwards, at a café on Adema Buća Street. The owners – a lovely couple named Biše and Hatidža – and I bonded on my first day here, and now I can’t start my morning without another round of “coffee Bosnia” and whatever sandwich they whip up for me.

Twelve hours later, my days end with a beer (or two) at one of the bars down the street from Majda’s apartment. Each night I’m never quite ready to break that day’s spell, so I pop in, order a Sarajevsko nightcap, write down a few thoughts, and listen to the clicks of rolling dice and wooden chips as the old men next to me play backgammon.

I can’t imagine ending my days here any other way.

But what do my days themselves look like? There has yet to be any discernible pattern, as apparently, serendipity doesn’t seem to think I need one in Mostar. While at the café my first day, the owners’ daughter-in-law stopped by with her own daughter Iman, who is soon to turn six. We got to talking and Edisa ended up inviting me to their house for lunch the next day.

Lunch turned into coffee, and coffee into dinner. Seven hours later, I walked home under a starry sky, in awe of the connections we find and make around the world. The next day, the same thing happened again, but with a different family. And then tonight, I sat in yet another family’s house, getting to know them over a bowl of cheesy pasta.

I wake up each morning thinking I have an idea of how the day will go – and I fall asleep each night amazed at where the day actually led, overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity I’ve encountered in this city.

I would love to tell you a single story from Mostar in this post, but at the moment – halfway through my week here – it feels too soon to step back and ask what it all means, or why it has happened. All I have to offer are a million little moments these families have gifted me – breaking bread over a late lunch, doing cartwheels in the backyard, sketching on the sidewalk, drinking coffee, sharing stories.

I could not be more grateful to have stumbled into this corner of the world, all because of a little last-minute schedule re-arranging. Mostar has reminded me that when we travel – and more importantly live – with open hearts and open minds, connections happen.

And sometimes, unavoidably, two breakfasts. But what can you do?

34 Comments

  • I’ve loved these photos and stories from Mostar. They’ve made me more conscious about being open to the people and experiences around me. Thanks! (and I’ve loved your book too!)

    • Thank you so much for sharing that, Michele! And thank you as well for ordering the book – I’m so glad you’re enjoying my sketches, both in the book and here on the blog 🙂

  • Your stories remind me a lot about my time in the Balkans. When people ask me what did I do or what did I see, I have a really hard time trying to explain exactly what all that was. But it was one of if not my favorite trip I had ever done traveling through those cities and countries. I remember the people so much more so than the places themselves. It was one of the most genuine and welcoming parts of the world and people seemed so happy to meet visitors in their country. I’m glad to hear you had such an amazing time in Mostar, I loved it myself as well.

    • Anwar, I’m pretty sure I will be leaving Mostar with the same problem of how to explain my time here 🙂 Even one of the local women I’ve met said, “So you’ve seen the Old Town, Adema Buca Street (where I’ve done a lot of sketching)…what else?” And I told her, she had essentially just summed it up! One of my favorite blogger-sketch artists, Chandler O’Leary from Drawn the Road Again (www.drawntheroadagain.com), said that when she sketches on a trip, she sees less but remembers more…and I feel like the same thing could be said of focusing more on people than on a place. We may not check off all the must-see sights, but we leave with meaningful encounters with people we’ll probably never forget. Thanks for sharing about your own time here in Mostar – I’ll be sad to leave on Monday!

  • Ah, what to do?! I love how travel breaks open new experiences and encounters; it’s without doubt my favourite part of this lifestyle we are so lucky to pursue. You travel with such grace and humility Candace, and I never fail to be moved by your beautiful stories. I can’t wait for the next instalment xxx

    • Hannah, you’re going to make me cry! Thank you so much for what you said here – it really means a lot, and reminds me of our wonderful conversations about living and traveling with an open heart. We may get stung every now and then because of it, but we’re also open to beautiful encounters – and I think that is ultimately what’s important. Miss you, lovely! xxx

  • This is the reason I want to travel – to connect and build beautiful moments. I feel like I’ve left you a comment sounding like something along those lines before!

    • And feel free to keep leaving them, Claire 🙂 This week in Mostar has really shown me that connections are what I travel for now – as much as I love exploring a new place, I’m always waiting for that next encounter. I’m glad to hear it’s what keeps you on the road as well!

  • When I was a kid, I had a friend named Dadio (not sure how his name was spelled) who was from Bosnia. His mother and he were refugees at the time, and his father was still in Bosnia, during the war. Eventually I got to meet him. It’s been years since I’ve seen them, as my family moved away after a couple years, but I still think about them, think of how kind they were. How much fun it was to play with a kid whose mispronunciations made me think he was saying something entirely different, so consequently I thought I was missing out on something novel. Often would turn out to be “regular” soda, or a show that I watched all the time myself. I claimed he spoke another language, though it was just an accent. I was so proud of myself for “understanding” him. ;D I wonder where Dadio is now.

    • I loved reading your story about Dadio, Elora – thank you for sharing it! And how cool would it be to re-connect with Dadio and his family today?

  • So, so wonderful. For me those spontaneous moments make for the best and clearest memories. Nearly all my favorite travel days were ones where any semblance of a “plan” went right out the window. It sounds like serendipity, indeed, is guiding your travels this time!

    • I really love what you said about spontaneity leading to our clearest memories…that’s a beautiful thought, my friend 🙂 Thank you for sharing that, and for following along this journey – can’t wait to hear more about your own upcoming adventures!

  • Hey, so happy you have a great time there. Yap, that’s the Balkans – people are extremely welcoming, go anywhere it will be the same. Still planning a trip to Srbia? Prepare yourself for lots of fun, huge parties and incredible hospitality. Love my corner of the world 🙂 Btw. did you try burek yet or sirnica? also ask for baklava – just tell them a crazy Slovenian is buggering you with this 😛 Keep on posting, your posts make my mornings (alas with only one breakfast :D) special.

    • Ahh, I love the thought of you starting your day with my Balkans posts – even if they do start with just one breakfast 🙂 Okay, lots to answer: firstly, YES, have had burek a few times now and am officially in love with it. Thank you for the tip, my friend! Also, because of this unexpected week in Bosnia, I’ll unfortunately only be passing through Serbia on my way to Turkey now. But as you know, I still need to visit your lovely home country, so I’m sure I’ll be back in the region soon enough and hope to explore Serbia and Bulgaria at more length then! So great to hear from you here, and I can’t wait to chat more soon 🙂

      • Ok then, see you soon in my country 🙂 and btw, just a reminder, not to be pushy or anything, you know, in a British kind of manner, to say kindly and politely….I am still waiting for my email!! Enjoy Bosnia and keep on posting 🙂

        • I know, I know, I know! I’m just heading to Dublin now for the Tbex blogging conference, and my goal for this weekend (once the conference is over) is to literally sit in a café or pub all day and not leave until I’ve sent every overdue reply I owe 🙂 Get excited!

  • My travels were what taught me what true hospitality is. Before a sweet Bedouin woman gave me tea or a French grandma had me over for supper I don’t think I really understood what it meant to open your life to strangers (and make them friends). It’s not quite as easy to model at home in the everyday but it’s something I’m so glad I experienced!

    • Amanda, I couldn’t love your comment any more than I do – thank you so much for sharing it! (I especially loved hearing about the Bedouin women and French grandma 🙂 What you wrote about modeling this openness at home is also spot on – I’m excited to have a somewhat more permanent base next year, where I’ll hopefully have the chance to return some of the generosity and hospitality I’ve been shown!

  • You caught some amazing moments in Mostar. When we were there, it seemed like a lot of people were focused on the war tourism. But, there was one particular thing that stood out. People were jumping off the bridge for fun. And one guy was standing there, just hesitating like crazy because it was so high up. So he was all: “…fuck it” and jumped. I guess that’s how you get over your fear of heights.

    • The bridge jumpers (and the crowds they attract) definitely stand out! I know what you mean, though, about the war tourism, and I’ve certainly been asking heaps of questions about the war myself this week. But as much as I want to understand Mostar twenty years ago, I’m also grateful that I’ve gotten to know Mostar *today*. I think that’s the balance we have to try and strike when in places that have such a raw past and are still healing.

  • Having just received your beautiful book, ‘Beneath the lantern’s glow’, I’ve returned to your blog to discover your next adventure. I have never thought of visiting Bosnia but having read your post about the friendliness of the people I’m adding it to my ‘must see before we leave Europe’ list. Such a lovely post about your adventurous life. Thank you for the inspiration.

    • It’s great to hear from you here, Jenny! I’m so glad the book reached you safely in Milan, and that you’re enjoying it so far. I may be a little biased after my week in Mostar, but Bosnia is *well* worth a visit. Between the scenery, history, architecture, food, and people, there is a LOT to love – I hope you can make it here soon!

  • I was in Mostar several years ago and loved it. Loved entire Bosnia and Herzegovina, it is an amazing country with one of the loveliest and nicest and warmest people in the world. I even like it more when I read your stories. And I love your sketches. It is so inspiring! One can almost feel the openness of your heart chakra vibrating! Amazing. I am sharing these story with my facebook friends, especially those from Bosnia 🙂
    Peace, love and travel
    Anica

    • I’m so glad you loved your own time in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Anica – it is swiftly becoming one of my favorite countries in the world. I’m also thrilled you enjoy my stories and sketches here, and thanks so much in advance for sharing them! PS – Your line about the heart chakra just sent me on an epic rabbit trail across the web…very interesting to read about 🙂

      • Your blog, stories, attitude, experience, talent and confidence of the world and how amazing it is got me back on my track where I strayed away from fear – so I guess we had a fair share of exchange here. 🙂 Open heart chakra means lack of fear, stands for great love of self and thus since we are all one, since your self and my self are all of the same matter, same essence, loving oneself means loving the world. 😉 And means approaching it without fear, only with love. 🙂 If you are coming to Belgrade, Serbia or anywhere to Serbia to sketch and write – I think I saw it in your programme, you will be more than welcome to my home! 🙂 I am so glad you loved Bosnia, the Balkans region is very much similar in the energy and hospitality. I have a lot of friends foreigners and they think so too. Some of them even stay in his region. 🙂 I accidentally met this interesting French guy this summer who is blogging on his bicycle road through the Balkans. You might find it interesting. 🙂 http://from89tobalkans.blogspot.com/
        Peace, love and travel, as always, 🙂
        Anica

        • Thank you so much for that, Anica! I was really intrigued by this thought: “loving oneself means loving the world.” In a way, that’s part of what I’m writing about in my memoir, so thanks for putting it so perfectly 🙂 Thank you as well for the wonderful invitation to your home! While I will indeed be passing through Serbia on my way to Turkey, it will unfortunately be a very quick visit. I’m looking forward to returning to the Balkans one day, though, so I’ll be sure to let you know when that happens!

    • Thanks for reading, Dana! And I’m so glad to hear that you’re open to encounters and connections as you travel too 🙂

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  • Art is such a universal language. I’m glad to see that the children were drawing too.

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