Plans are a funny, funny thing.
We make them, shape them, give them tender, loving care and try to set them on a good course.
But sometimes, like the most prodigal of sons, our plans have a way of running away; they take on a mind of their own and spin out of our control.
Or so I told myself on Saturday.
After a failed attempt at having my sketching products printed the night before at FedEx, I’d awoken with a fresh sense of determination. My mother and I headed to another FedEx, and then to an Office Max printing center, every time getting the same answer from every employee: “No, we can’t help you.”
By lunchtime, I was ready to call it quits. Ready to crawl back into bed, go to sleep, and hang up my sketchbook forever.
* * *
Have you ever asked yourself, what’s the point?
Have you ever felt like you’re wasting your time?
Have you ever looked at something you’re trying to launch – a project, a business, a round-the-world trip – and questioned the whole damn thing in its entirety?
I’m not gonna lie to you – I got to that point on Saturday afternoon. The point where your faith feels as shriveled and dry as a fallen leaf in autumn; the point where a steady paycheck sounds as appealing as pizza and peanut butter to Survivor contestants.
Rather than do anything rash, however, I decided to stop thinking about it for the weekend. I watched Argo with my parents, drank wine, laid out, swam in the pool, and waited for my sister and her husband to arrive back from their honeymoon. I put space between myself and my frustration.
And I took the recommendation of an OfficeMax employee and looked up a company whose website is – I kid you not – TheHappyPrinters.com. Happy printers? I asked myself. After my three failures at FedEx and Office Max, I was convinced such a category of humanity quite simply does not exist.
So it was that with the lowest of expectations my mom and I made our way to Spectrum Printing this morning, where two kind-hearted souls named Dick and Pete began proving me wrong – very, very wrong.
Over the course of an hour, my plans for each sketching product (i.e. prints, greeting cards, and notecards) were suddenly back on track. Pete proved to be an incredible resource, an endless well of knowledge and experience and the warmth of human kindness, and together we mapped out what needed to happen to have everything ready to launch by Thursday.
“It’s a great idea,” Pete said as we said goodbye. “You know what you’re doing.”
I wanted to fall to my knees and kiss his feet. Instead, I gave him a most professional handshake – and resisted the urge to do a cartwheel on my way out.
* * *
It’s now Monday evening and I’m sitting in a Starbucks across the street from the Happy Printers, who are otherwise known as my new best friends.
You might remember reading two weeks ago that today is when I was planning to launch my first book of sketches – Beneath the Lantern’s Glow: Sketches and Stories from Southeast Asia and Japan. And indeed, I had grand plans for this day: The book would be officially available on Amazon, my first line of sketching products would be ready for their own reveal, and the two winners of the giveaway would be named.
In reality I find myself waiting for my printing order to be filled, as well as for final proof copies of the book to be delivered from Amazon, which were unfortunately delayed due to last week’s holiday here in the US. But gone are the fruitless, faithless feelings from Saturday; in their place, a fragile hope that maybe this is going to work out after all.
For the thousandth time on this journey to be a writer and sketch artist, I am reminded that failure is inevitable. But if this experience of launching a sketching business has taught me anything, it is that failure does not have to be terminal. Failure can in fact be beneficial.
Writer Paul Angone said it best last week on Jeff Goins’ blog: “The most formative and vital point of your writing career is when you’re forced to quit and start over. Because at that point you have to find the true reasons of why you do what you do and for whom you’re doing it. Finding your passion is more about failing forward than succeeding on the first try.”
Good stuff, ay?
So I write all of this to not only thank you in advance for your patience as I delay the launch by just a few days, but also to hopefully encourage you through roadblocks in your own life endeavors – that when our plans go awry and failure looms overhead, think of it like ramming into the walls of a bumper car track.
Sure, it comes with whiplash and setbacks, but in some twisted way, each bump stills propels us forward – closer to our goals, closer to our dreams.
I’m so glad you persevered and didn’t give up! And I’m sure it will all be worth it once you’re (finally!) holding the finished product in your hands.
Thank you, Marie! Giving up always sounds so appealing in the heat of a frustrating moment, but thankfully we’ve got our dreams and visions to carry us through 🙂 Hope you enjoy the book and sketching products!
This made me all teary!! Can’t wait to get my hands on this book one day soon! I’m here in Australia and met a friend of the DeVeres who is OBSESSED with your work! She said she’s going to buy like 10 copies of the book for Christmas pressies:)
Wishing we were on a great adventure together. One day again, friend.
XOXOXO
Carter, my love, thanks so much for your sweet comment! That is so fun about meeting a friend of the DeVeres – I seriously can’t wait to hear all about your Australian adventures 😉 xox
I love the comments about pizza, peanut butter and Bumper cars:) Made me smile!
So glad you enjoyed those little mentions, Dad 🙂
Such beautiful writings. We ad ire your insight and uplifting spirit.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Charlynne – it’s great to hear from you here!
Beautiful my dear. The best things come to those who wait 🙂
Thanks so much, my friend – and I couldn’t agree more 🙂 Nothing like hitting a few road bumps along the way to make reaching the destination that much sweeter!
My favourite quote by Winston Churchill is:
“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm”
Without those words I would have given up on so many things a long long time ago 😉
I’m so writing that one down, Linda! Thanks for sharing it 🙂
Ahh, it would’ve been such a shame to give up at this point, especially since you already announced everything! I’m so glad it’s working out for you though. I definitely relate to wanting to quit when embarking on a new project. I just started a new website and it’s a bit disheartening to put so much work into it and see it get so little attention, but I do it anyway because it interests me so much and seeing the finished posts makes me truly happy. “Finding your passion is more about failing forward than succeeding on the first try.” That’s good stuff!
Thanks so much for your comment, Kirstin, and for sharing a bit about your own frustration right now! I think some of our biggest challenges often come at the beginning of new projects – it’s hard because we’re still building the momentum that will carry us through ’til the end. By the way, I just checked out your site and think it’s absolutely beautiful! I will definitely be back 🙂
Reading this made me choke just a little bit. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt this way – questioning myself ‘what’s the point?’ and wanting to give it all up. But I’m glad I’ve persevered and I’m really happy you have too. 😉 Every bump get us closer to our goals.
I was writing a chapter on overcoming fears in my book last week, and I included this tip, “be prepared to deal with failure”. And it can’t be more appropriate here. Just know that we all are here for you every step of the way, and that there are so many of us here who want to see you succeed. I can’t wait to see your book in print!
Nellie! Thanks so much not only for your kind words and support, but also for sharing a bit of your wisdom here – I love that line about being prepared for failure, and honestly the more I read about it, the more people talk about it being such a natural part of the process. Gratefully I’m realizing that more and more, and trying to keep sight of the bigger vision even as these smaller frustrations unfold 🙂 Seriously can’t wait to read your book!
very inspiring candace. I can totally relate to your story. failure is inevitable but it is always better to try and fail than not try at all. i cannot count how many times i have failed but i’m not giving up. Very excited for you!
Just curious, why can’t fedex and officemax not able to print your sketches?
I’m curious about this too!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, Elisa! I really appreciate you sharing a bit about your own story and experience with failure here. Unfortunately the cards and prints I’d designed required a more customized printing job that neither FedEx nor Office Max were able to run through their more standardized machines. Funnily enough, the commercial printers I finally went to ended up being cheaper than if I’d printed at FedEx in the first place – so it all worked out in the end 🙂
I think that whenever you work within a creative field there are bound to be moments where you wonder whether all the struggles and hassles are worth it, whether you’re actually getting any traction, whether you’ll ever be able to make it doing the thing you love. Whenever you’re doing something risky, there’s always the chance you’ll fail, but I think walking that tightrope is the risk people on the brink of greatness have to take. I’m glad you were able to give yourself a break and talk yourself down off the ledge, so to speak. Things are rarely as dire as they first appear and as the old saying goes, where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Steph! I seriously need to print out your comment and paste it in my journal, on the wall in front of my desk, etc…any place, really, where it will be easy to find in another moment of crisis 🙂 I love your use of the word “traction,” though – that’s such a perfect word for this situation, and something I know we’re all hoping to find in our creative projects! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here, I will be mulling over them for days to come.
PS – I totally dropped the ball when it was announced a couple of weeks ago, but HUGE CONGRATS on winning the Fearful Adventurer contest! Any idea where you and Tony will head with the flight? 🙂
“Failing forward”. Beautifully put.
There is no question that this is already working out, and that any delays or mishaps will not derail that. No question at all.
Although obviously that’s no excuse to not keep suffering! Because suffering is good for the soul. *cracks whip, heartlessly* (Good to hear you found the right printers for the job…)
There are many types of failure, I think. The failing-forward type is always most definitely good, and worth seeking out, every time. (There really should be a better word for it than “failure”, with all its negative associations). The BAD kind of failure, the kind that truly deserves the dictionary definition, is when you don’t try – you just assume you know how it will turn out, so you shrug your shoulders and say “it’ll never work”. That is failure. And luck and success both frown upon that kind of failure.
I keep sharing this on the Web as a great example of the good kind of failure, and no doubt she’s getting annoyed with seeing me posting the link everywhere, but Lola Akinmade-Åkerström posts a yearly roundup about her success with pitching editors – and over half the time, her pitch fails to get commissioned:
http://lolaakinmade.com/2013/01/10/work-update-how-2012-went-as-a-freelancer-pie-chart/
Lola’s work is top quality and her credibility is sky high. So why just a 44% success rate? Because she’s pitching at a high enough level, to challenging markets and with an elevated level of risk of not hitting that target, so every success within that 44% is meaningful and profitable.
That’s a good, good lesson about “failure”.
Mike. My friend. My guru. My endless source of wisdom and wit and wonderfulness. Thank you for yet again taking the time to share a bit of your wisdom here – it is so appreciated! I especially liked what you were saying about finding a different word for the good kind of failure…let’s do that asap, please, as I seem to be doing a lot of failing lately (hopefully of the good kind) and I’d love to feel a little less bad about it 😉 And yes, I absolutely love the pitching roundups that Lola puts together every year (even if it is mildly depressing to think that Lola herself still gets rejections!) – thanks for reminding me about them.
Candace – I loved this post and can totally relate. And the key is knowing that because you are passionate about what you do, even if you feel like giving up, your spirit won’t let you throw it all in. It’s your natural talent. It’s one of the things you were born to do.
Mike – Thanks so much for your kind words and please keep on sharing that link! Because I think it’s important that people need to learn to work through rejection and failure, not take things personally, and aim to grow professionally.
You know the cliche…builds thick skin and all.
As you pointed out, the rewards can be quite profitable if we’re willing to stick through the rough bits, take calculated risks, and build our resilience over time.
Lola, I can’t thank you enough for your comment – it means so much. And yes, I absolutely loved what Mike shared as well – you are such a source of inspiration to all of us when it comes to sticking with our passions and goals even when the going gets tough. Thank you for that!
Oh how I understand. Recently, now that we are back in Ohio and working towards some new things (ebook, shop, etc.) I think to myself sometimes: “what’s the point?” or “It’s a bad idea, it will never work.” Fear and resistance are such a bitch, especially when we get so close to our goal. I can’t wait to see your book Candace. I’m glad you fell forward.
It’s oh-so-reassuring to hear that you understand, my friend – and I absolutely know that you do! Your new shop looks GORGEOUS (sorry, I got the sneak peek link from Hannah’s post yesterday!), so I hope you keep pushing past the fear and resistance yourself…we got this, right? 🙂
Failure is never inevitable!
It sounds as if you did not plan at all.
Fail to plan…plan to fail syndrome.
Look forward to the book!
Thanks very much for taking the time to leave a comment, Mark – I appreciate it, and hope you enjoy “Beneath the Lantern’s Glow”!
Such a lovely post and it happened to come on the very day when I was having one of those ‘What am I doing?’ moments. So thank you for reminding me why we do what we do and the importance of believing in the things we love. Good luck with the launch!
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your comment, Emily-Ann! I’m so happy to hear that it came at just the right moment for you…I so understand how much even just a few words of encouragement can mean – and please know that whatever it was you were questioning, is probably most definitely worth doing! It’s the fear and doubt that always let me know it is 🙂
Candace, this post is so relevant to me right know as I’m sure it is for others. It is so hard sometimes when you feel so passionate about something to watch it not surge forward successfully as you expect it to, but to fail forward. Thanks for reminding me that forward is still the direction…
“Forward is still the direction…” You speak the truth, Jade! Whether we’re racing ahead or stumbling along, I’m currently learning that as long as we’re going remotely forward, we’re doing alright 🙂
Instantly after reading this, I was reminded of something my yoga teacher said last night as we were doing our final poses, relaxing after a rather strenuous class (at least for me). She said to try not to force our simple twist, but just let go. This was usually the time where it was best to let our bodies go where they need to and not force it. And isn’t that just true of life, too?
It was a good reminder to me that sometimes when everything is going against you, it’s a good time to stop forcing it, take a step back and try something else. Just like you did! The bit of pool time and relaxation probably helped you reset and find new direction.
I love what your teacher said, Carmel! Thanks so much for sharing that – I will be keeping it in mind over the next few weeks…life certainly feels like it doesn’t want to be forced at the moment 🙂 Can’t wait to see you and Shawn next week!
First off, congratulations on getting your sketching book and other side project off the ground.
Perseverance is such a hard quality to have. Being told, to yourself or by someone else, that something is not possible, you can’t do it, etc. is draining. Having the ability to push through those times and not taking no for an answer is something I wish I had, so thank you for the inspiration.
Thanks so much, Brian! I really appreciate your congrats and kind words. *However* I’m pretty sure there’s no way you just made it through 13 months of travel – in South America and Asia, of all places – without a serious amount of perseverance 😉
Hi Candace! We met when you were in Cville for reunion weekend. I rediscovered your blog and appreciate in particular, this post. Thanks for the real-ness of imperfection and the process of trial and error(s) we all experience at times. I look forward to reading more!
Hey Jamie! I loved meeting you a few weeks ago, so it’s wonderful to hear from you here 🙂 I’m really glad this post resonated with you – the sketching journey has certainly been a process, and I’m continually trying to be open and honest about it here on the blog! Hope you’re having a great summer so far – any leads on where you’ll be for this next school year?
I love this—I’ve had that “what’s the point?” feeling so many times. It’s the worst. When I’m clear-headed enough in that moment, I look back at all the sketches I’ve finished, and it reminds me of why I started in the first place. When I’m *not* clear-headed enough, I’m lucky to have friends who sit me down and then *they* show me my old sketches. Thank goodness for that.
And thank goodness you kept going! I love your work—can’t wait to see more.
Chandler! I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to hear from you here – a friend of mine just sent me a link to “Drawn the Road Again” this morning and I spent a good hour poring through your sketches and posts – I am in love with your style! Thank you as well for what you shared here – it’s incredibly encouraging to hear that almost no one is immune from those moments of doubt, and I’m glad you have such great friends to keep going! Best of luck with your new site – I’m so looking forward to following along your journeys.
I found you via a Twitter link today and so happy I did. I too will be buying some of your work for gifts.
Stick with the little businesses – they will always look after you best!
I’m so happy Twitter sent you this way today as well! It’s great to hear from you 🙂 Thanks so much for your kind words, and for looking into the sketching products – just so you have it close by, you can find the Etsy store here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/SerendipitySketches I look forward to seeing you here again!