“The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.”
— John E. Southard
When I think about the fact that this is the fourth year in a row that I’m missing Thanksgiving at home, it’s almost enough to make me throw in the [travel] towel and get on the first flight to Virginia.
Because–and I think I’ve said this before, maybe in last year’s gratitude post–Thanksgiving is seriously the best. As a [usually] content expat, I happily go without Chick-fil-a and root beer and Memorial day picnics throughout the rest of the year.
But please, please, don’t take away my pumpkin pie.
Well, as I sit here in Trincomalee, Sri Lanka, going without pumpkin pie [and turkey dark meat and honey-baked ham and stuffing and gravy and Grandma’s green jello salad], at least there’s one Thanksgiving tradition I can keep up, even if I did have rice and curry for dinner last night: I can still give thanks.
When I started thinking about what I am thankful for this year, my mind went straight to the last three months here in India/South Asia–not only because those are the only pictures I have on my laptop (and hence needed to provide photos for the post!), but because it’s where are all my thoughts are right now. And when I thought about what I’m thankful for here on the subcontinent, I thought about this:
People.
The idea that “people make the place” is somewhat of a travel truism, I know, but I’m sticking to it this time. It’s not always the case for me on shorter trips, where the thrill of a new country is enough to keep you going, but I’m not sure I could have made it through this particular journey without certain friends, both old and new:
1. Citlalli
I don’t think you could jump into a tuk tuk and attempt driving 3,000km in it with just anyone, and I’m so glad to have done the Rickshaw Run with Citlalli. [The two shots above were taken at the start and end of the same day…perfect proof of what the Indian roads do to you!]
Despite a few stretching moments–eighteen-mile traffic jam to start your day, anyone?–we made it through and can now forever reminisce about “that time we drove across India in a tin can.”
2. Other rickshaw runners
Citlalli and I were stoked to find three great teams to convoy with and are now currently scheming trips to Northern Ireland and Bahrain to catch up with them. The run wouldn’t have been the same without them–thanks especially to Nambi, who still considers it part of his job to help me research train times and Indian destinations–from 5,000 miles away.
3. Jeevika Trust
The chance to partner with UK-based charity Jeevika Trust on two of their team visits here has been pretty momentous for me–first, with programmes officer Judith Crosland and in-country coordinator Priya Anand, and a second trip with executive director Andrew Redpath and fundraiser-extraordinaire, Mark Hoda.
These visits have not only shown me a side of India I might not otherwise have seen, but also introduced me to some of their local partners, such as Social Change and Development (SCAD) in Tamil Nadu.
4. My Chennai family
When Nambi heard I was going through Tamil Nadu’s capital of Chennai, he put me in touch with his cousin Shiva and Shiva’s wife Akansha, as well as Shiva’s parents. Whether it was eating Sunday night dinner in the food court with Shiva and Akansha, or learning how to celebrate Diwali for the first time with even more relatives, I’ll always remember my first true look at life as an Indian family.
5. Amma and Appa
And then, of course, there are Amma and Appa–that being ‘mother’ and ‘father’ in Tamil. After my time in Chennai, I was sent onto a suburb called Chengelpattu, where I stayed with Nambi’s parents for a weekend…and their five perky Pomeranians (my favorite, Sony–half-Pomeranian, half-Labrador–is pictured above).
My new friendship with Amma and Appa is proof that a connection doesn’t always depend on how old you are or where you’re from.
*
So what has really overwhelmed me the most throughout this trip–even more than the size of the country or how chaotic the sleeper class can sometimes be–is the generosity of its people. Because when you say you’re going out traveling alone, especially as a female, people are quick to give words of caution. And when you say you’re going out traveling alone as a female in India, then you can pretty much double the caution you’re given.
But what they don’t say is–be ready for kindness. Be ready for people who don’t even know you to welcome you into their home. Be ready to be given what you sometimes feel you don’t deserve.
And each small [or big] act of kindness begins to add up–just as your bag grows heavier with scarves and spices and new Diwali clothes–into something incredibly humbling.
So to everyone who has made this trip what it is–I thank you. To my family, I miss you more than ever today, and to everyone else–a very happy Thanksgiving!
Beautiful post my darling!!! So proud of you. Happy Thanksgiving xxxxxxx
Thanks so much, my love! Can you believe I’ll see you only three weeks from today? Can’t wait 🙂 Sending you lots of love xxx
What I am thankful for? For my friends, for all those I met in my years abroad who keep me smile when days are hard and who call me out of a sudden to let me know I am missed. And I am thankful for your friendship, Candace, you are such an inspiration! Happy Thanksgiving! xx
Tanja…pretty sure I just teared up at this. Thanks so much for your kind words–I was thinking this same thing at dinner with Ermiza…like, who knew that weekend in Paris all those years ago (or just three, haha) that we’d still be in touch and connecting all over the world? Friendships like that are pretty cool and rare when you think about it! Hope you’re staying strong this autumn term and can’t wait to catch up in Jan. xx
<3
<3 you back!
Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is important and everything. However think of if you added some great visuals or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this website could undeniably be one of the best in its field. Very good blog!
Thanks very much for your comment, I certainy agree with you that visuals do make a blog. If you take a look throughout my site, you’ll notice I generally include quite a few photos with each post, and even a video here and there. Great advice, though!